Memoirs – All For Nothing
(1022 Words)
I had just flown from Bangkok to Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport and was heading for Euro 2000: the European Football competition between neighbouring European countries. Slightly jet-lagged and a lack of sleep, I exited the airport and first went to Amsterdam Central Railway Station. I headed straight for the railway station to throw my bag in storage. It was certainly too bulky and heavy for my next experience. I was soon walking freely away from Amsterdam station, and I could now go off to the Philips Stadion in Eindhoven to see England play Portugal. Beckham and Figo et al head to head. Despite the excitement of this, I had actually booked a ticket to see the rock group Oasis in Hamburg the following day after the match; this initially was really my only plan. I had been a fan since the early days, and they were always worth seeing live anywhere in the world. So, as I strolled around Amsterdam at least I knew now I had to get from Eindhoven to Hamburg somehow.
I spent an interesting night in Amsterdam and then the next day went off down to Landgraaf by train. Talking to someone after a few drinks the night before, I had found out about a music festival; it was the PinkPop rock festival about an hour or so from Amsterdam. To my delight, it actually had Oasis playing and was not far from Eindhoven, I thought. I always remember going to this festival as I never had a ticket. As I got there in the morning, I saw lots of music lovers in a field. Various thoughts came to mind but I spent a good 30 minutes looking at how to jump the fence to get in for free. I made my move and was soon over a fence and in. This was only to find out that it was for tents/camping and the festival was in another field through more security and barriers. Anyway, I got a ticket for a cheap price, so it was not any hassle. The festival finished (I got to see Oasis without Noel Gallagher), and my next move was to think about the football. I ended up getting the train to another town one stop down from Eindhoven as the town was full of what seemed like England football fans who had taken over every hotel. Each hotel I went into to ask for a room in Eindhoven had so many football fans milling around singing and every place had no vacancies. I eventually spent the night in a hotel in the next town albeit it was full of Orange as the Netherlands were playing; the next night was the big match.
Once again, I was without a ticket but somewhere to go. I made my way up on the train from my hotel in the next town. I then spent the day drinking in Eindhoven and generally mixing with the English fans. I put the word out that I was looking for tickets, Fortunately, I found a guy who had tickets for the match. I was a bit wary because this ticket had the owner’s name on it, and match security was going to check tickets and passports/ID too. I was cautious, but I bought it anyway; I was going to chance it. I thought if security takes the ticket away, at least I tried to get in. The buzz of the impending game was growing, ultimately then came my moment of trying to get in without security’s bother. I walked closer and saw there were metal fences stopping fans, I got my ticket out and showed it. The inspector just looked at the ticket, I had made it past. I was buzzing. Yes, I had made it but what was this, it was only to the next fence. There were three of these. However, the stars were shining that night; I made it past all of them, and no real checks. The match was brilliant too, singing the National Anthem, cheering on every move, going crazy to the goals although England lost to Portugal; damn Figo!
Now, it was time to look for somewhere to stay the night. There was nowhere, I was homeless in the Netherlands. All the hotels were full, and it was getting late. What could I do? I ended up sitting in a few bars and restaurants which was not nice for me, as you meet up with many weird people from 11pm to 6am. 6am was the time the train to Hamburg left Eindhoven station. I was actually early and spent an hour waiting still seeing England fans going round singing after a big night out. I needed sleep badly. The Oasis concert in Hamburg was that night, and I had had no sleep. So, it was just my luck when I got on the Eindhoven train, and it was full and this continued through my three changes of train as I crossed from the Netherland to Germany. After a lifetime wait, I actually found a seat, but by that time I was scared of never waking up and ending up in Russia or something.
So, now I was in Hamburg standing at the railway station looking out. I found myself a nearby hotel, had a look around, and made my way to the OASIS concert. I could not believe all that I had done over the last few days. This was the only activity I had originally planned. I actually had a pre-booked ticket, I was legal. There would be no worries over security, no worries about jumping fences, and a nice paid for hotel waiting after the concert for me. I had looked forward to this rock concert for the month, I had the ‘golden’ ticket to get in. As I got to the stadium, I thought it looked a bit quiet and wondered if I had the right place. Where were the crowds of fans? I asked one of the guys there, and he said the Oasis concert had been cancelled. I had made the trip all for nothing due to Liam becoming ill. Nice one Liam!
Great Expectations – The Guardian’s Influence
(867 words)
In this essay, I will show how Miss Havisham’s influence affects her adopted daughter, Estella, and how this influence shapes Estella’s attitudes towards love and men. Since Miss Havisham was betrayed on her wedding day, she has developed a deep contempt for men. By adopting a young girl called Estella, she attempts to instil in her a similar distrust of men and encourages her to take revenge on them. As a result, Estella grows up to be cold and cruel. However, as Estella becomes older, she begins to show indifference towards Miss Havisham’s destructive ways and starts to recognise the negative influence she has had on her life.
Miss Havisham also influences Pip, the protagonist and narrator of Great Expectations, by arranging for him to visit her house. Pip sets off to Miss Havisham’s house, where it becomes clear that Miss Havisham’s plan is to encourage Estella to entrap Pip and make him fall in love with her. Pip enters Miss Havisham’s house through dark passages where only candles light the way. Estella leads him by candlelight to the room where Miss Havisham sits. Pip finally sees Miss Havisham in an armchair, with one elbow resting on the table and her head leaning on her hand. He describes her as the “strangest lady I have ever seen”. This gives the reader an immediate image of a reclusive woman who is trapped in the past.
There has been no change to the decaying house, which is repeatedly presented as dark and neglected. Miss Havisham’s weathered wedding dress is still on display, preserved from the day she was jilted at the altar. The deterioration surrounding Miss Havisham has been there for Estella to see and live amongst, symbolising Miss Havisham’s inability to move on from her past. It also characterises her relationship not only with Estella but with humanity as a whole, particularly with men. The decaying environment reflects the destructive effect of Miss Havisham’s bitterness.
The reader can imagine Estella being brought up in an environment where Miss Havisham has shut herself away from the outside world. This has an obvious effect not only on the bitter and reclusive Miss Havisham but also on the young and impressionable Estella. Miss Havisham has not taught Estella what love is or how to love another person. Instead, she teaches her to use her beauty and attractiveness to manipulate men. Dickens therefore presents Estella as a product of her upbringing.
Miss Havisham influences Pip by deliberately encouraging him to fall in love with Estella. She repeatedly tells him, “Love her, love her, love her!” The repetition emphasises the strength of Miss Havisham’s desire for revenge. She takes pleasure in Pip’s suffering and wants him to continue loving Estella regardless of how cruelly Estella treats him. Miss Havisham is therefore using Pip as part of her revenge against men, even though Pip himself has done nothing to deserve her hatred.
Miss Havisham treats Estella as though she is responsible for carrying on the bitterness that Miss Havisham developed when she was younger. However, after Estella has been away from Miss Havisham, she seems to have developed a greater awareness of the influence that Miss Havisham has had on her. As a young child, Estella appears to accept Miss Havisham’s views without questioning them. The reader understands that Estella has been taught to believe that men are objects to be controlled and hurt. Miss Havisham adopted Estella and brought her up, so Estella has a sense of respect and loyalty towards her. However, as Estella becomes older, she begins to express her own feelings and challenge Miss Havisham.
Miss Havisham cruelly treated Estella when she was a child, giving her an upbringing characterised by psychological manipulation and emotional abuse. Estella has been taught how to attract men while simultaneously being encouraged to despise them. This creates a contradiction in her character: she has the ability to make men fall in love with her, but she has not been taught how to experience genuine love herself. Dickens therefore suggests that Miss Havisham’s attempt to use Estella as an instrument of revenge has caused lasting emotional damage.
Miss Havisham eventually confronts Estella about her cold and distant behaviour. However, Miss Havisham seems to blame Estella for qualities that she herself has encouraged. She reproaches Estella by exclaiming, “You cold, cold heart!” Estella responds by asking, “do you reproach me for being cold?” This rhetorical question exposes the hypocrisy of Miss Havisham’s criticism. How can Miss Havisham be angry with Estella for being cold when she is the person who raised her to behave in this way?
Miss Havisham’s influence has been to make Estella follow her beliefs and listen to her advice. However, now that Estella has grown older and has left home, she begins to resist Miss Havisham’s control. Miss Havisham resents Estella for developing feelings and opinions that challenge the way she was brought up. Dickens makes it clear that Estella’s behaviour is not entirely her own making. She has been shaped by Miss Havisham’s bitterness, manipulation and desire for revenge. Through Estella, Dickens demonstrates how damaging it can be when a child is raised to inherit another person’s hatred and emotional pain.
An admiration of ‘Children’ by Vicki Feaver
(819 words)
In this essay, I will explore how effectively Vicki Feaver, a female poet, conveys the influence of not only a mother but potentially all mothers. The poem presents the relationship between a loving parent and her child, exploring a mother’s desire to provide her child with an upbringing filled with love, care and ambition.
The first two tercets convey the image of a woman who, whether through careless accident or careful planning, believes that her child has been brought into this world to be loved. Feaver uses the pronoun ‘we’ to encompass mothers collectively, while also making the experience feel personal and intimate. The mother is present ‘where they began’, suggesting that the bond between mother and child begins from the moment of birth. The description of the children as ‘red mewling strangers’ acknowledges the unfamiliarity of a newborn while also conveying the child’s vulnerable appearance and persistent crying. Feaver develops this idea further with the phrase ‘they tear our threshold’, suggesting that the arrival of a child dramatically changes the mother’s life. The verb ‘tear’ conveys the magnitude and intensity of the disruption caused by a newborn. However, Feaver balances this sense of disruption with the tenderness of ‘immediately we love them’. The adverb ‘immediately’ emphasises how quickly and instinctively a mother’s love develops, presenting motherhood as a powerful and unconditional emotion.
The next three tercets explore the mother’s love as the child begins to grow. Feaver refers to other people commenting on the newborn, which conveys the genuine pride a mother may feel: ‘we smile and blush’. The verbs ‘smile’ and ‘blush’ suggest happiness, affection and perhaps even embarrassment at the attention given to the child. However, motherhood is not presented as entirely joyful, as the mother must also respond to the baby’s ‘cries’. Despite this, the child’s pain becomes the mother’s pain, demonstrating the depth of parental sympathy and compassion. The child’s emotions appear to become the mother’s emotions, suggesting that the mother becomes almost entirely responsive to the needs of her child. This is also demonstrated through the phrase ‘and hold them tightly’, which conveys both physical affection and emotional protection. The mother’s attachment becomes so strong that she experiences the child as ‘a lost part of ourselves’. This could suggest that having a child allows the mother to rediscover a powerful and innocent form of love that she may have lost during her own life. The phrase also implies that the child becomes an important part of the mother’s identity, reinforcing the strength of their emotional connection.
In the final five tercets, Feaver reflects on the mother’s influence while also encouraging her to consider her own life. The arrival of a new life creates the possibility that the child may achieve more than the mother herself. This is evident in the mother’s desire to give her child ‘all the things we never had’. The phrase suggests that the mother is conscious of the disappointments and limitations in her own life and wants to prevent her child from experiencing the same difficulties. She recognises the potential pitfalls of life and attempts to protect her child from them, shown through the image of walking ‘in front of them with warning flags’. The metaphor of ‘warning flags’ suggests that the mother wants to identify dangers before the child encounters them, demonstrating her protective nature.
Feaver also explores the mother’s regrets through the statement ‘we who have failed to be authors of our lives write theirs’. The metaphor of being ‘authors’ suggests that people should have control over the direction of their own lives. However, the mothers feel that they have ‘failed’ to achieve this, so they attempt to shape and influence their children’s lives instead. This reveals both the love and potential limitations of parental influence. In wanting ‘to make heroes of them’, mothers are not content simply to protect their children; they also want them to achieve greatness and fulfil the ambitions that they themselves may not have achieved. The final image of mothers who ‘wait and watch like gardeners for flowers’ presents motherhood as patient and nurturing. The metaphor of ‘gardeners’ suggests that mothers provide care and support while waiting for their children to develop and flourish. Like flowers, the children have the potential to grow into something beautiful and admired.
Overall, Feaver’s poem portrays many powerful ideas about a mother’s influence over her child. From the moment of birth, a mother’s love affects the way she views herself, her child and the future. The poem suggests that mothers influence their children in subtle but meaningful ways, wanting to protect them from their own mistakes while also encouraging them to achieve their ambitions. Ultimately, Feaver presents motherhood as a relationship characterised by unconditional love, protection, sacrifice and hope. The mother’s desire for her child to have the best possible life demonstrates the enduring love and affection that can exist between a mother and her child.
Henri Cartier Bresson – a master of snapshot photography
(1208 Words)
Henri Cartier-Bresson: The Decisive Moment in Two Photographs
Henri Cartier-Bresson’s photographs are widely regarded as masterpieces of street and snapshot photography. When viewing his portfolio, two works in particular captured my attention and imagination: The Var Department, Hyères, taken in France in 1932, and Behind the Gare Saint-Lazare, taken in Paris in the same year. This essay explores how these two classic photographs demonstrate Cartier-Bresson’s exceptional ability to capture movement and human activity at precisely the right moment. Although, at first glance, both photographs appear relatively simple because of their black-and-white presentation, closer examination reveals a sophisticated understanding of composition, geometry, movement, and human experience.
To begin with, Behind the Gare Saint-Lazare is particularly striking to me because of its multidimensional composition. The photograph immediately draws attention to the reflections of the figure, the railings, and the surrounding architecture in the water. These reflections introduce an almost ethereal quality that contrasts with the otherwise bleak and industrial character of the scene. The wrought-iron fencing, station building, workers, and scattered debris collectively establish an environment associated with urban industry and construction. Rather than presenting an idealised vision of Paris, Cartier-Bresson depicts a less glamorous and more ordinary aspect of the city.
As a photographer, Cartier-Bresson appears to capture life as an ongoing journey, and Behind the Gare Saint-Lazare exemplifies this idea particularly effectively. The central figure appears to be a man travelling to work, captured in the act of jumping across a large area of water, presumably left behind after heavy rain. Cartier-Bresson’s timing is remarkable: the slight blur of the figure prevents the viewer from becoming preoccupied with his facial expression and instead emphasises the movement of his body through the frame. His positioning creates a sense of suspension, as though the man is temporarily hovering above the water. At the same time, the ripples spreading across the surface reinforce the impression of movement. There is also an element of uncertainty, as it appears unlikely that the man will complete his leap without getting wet.
The photograph can therefore be interpreted as offering a distinctly working-class perspective of Paris. Instead of focusing on the city’s celebrated architecture and monuments, Cartier-Bresson presents an industrious and somewhat austere environment in which ordinary people negotiate the practical difficulties of everyday life. The bleakness of the setting contributes to the photograph’s sense of authenticity. Rather than appearing staged or idealised, the image presents an apparently spontaneous moment of everyday existence.
The Var Department, Hyères offers a very different composition, yet it similarly demonstrates Cartier-Bresson’s interest in movement and geometric form. The photograph contains a complex arrangement of lines and shapes that converge across the image. The contours and direction of the staircase lead the eye along several different paths, creating a composition that initially appears confusing but becomes increasingly coherent upon closer examination. These geometric qualities contribute a surreal dimension to the photograph. The unusual spatial relationships can even be compared to the work of M. C. Escher, particularly his exploration of impossible or seemingly infinite architectural spaces in works such as Relativity.
The square stonework of the wall introduces another geometric element, contrasting with the curved road that moves through the composition. The road itself appears to slope away from the viewer, creating a further sense of depth and movement. Within this otherwise static architectural environment, the cyclist becomes particularly significant. Although the photograph is frozen in time, the cyclist appears to be moving rapidly through the frame, creating a powerful contrast between stillness and motion.
The cyclist can therefore be interpreted as representing the continuous movement of human life. Cartier-Bresson frequently incorporated people into his compositions in ways that prevented the environment from becoming merely architectural or decorative. In The Var Department, Hyères, the cyclist introduces a human trajectory into an otherwise quiet landscape. His movement suggests that he is travelling towards another destination or experience, thereby giving the photograph a narrative quality. The image also evokes the wider cultural association between cycling and France, particularly the Tour de France. The contrast between the tranquillity of small French towns and the speed of cyclists passing through them provides an interesting parallel to the photograph’s own combination of stillness and movement.
Although both photographs are strictly monochromatic, I was particularly struck by their apparent range of “colours.” Cartier-Bresson uses an extensive tonal range of blacks, whites, and greys to create depth and visual contrast. These variations in tone give the photographs considerable strength and contribute to their timeless quality. The absence of colour does not diminish the visual richness of the images; instead, it encourages the viewer to focus more closely on form, texture, light, shadow, and composition.
Another important characteristic of both photographs is Cartier-Bresson’s treatment of his central figures. The people within the images are sufficiently blurred or integrated into the surrounding composition that they do not completely dominate the photographs. Nevertheless, they remain essential to their meaning. Their movements provide the images with energy and transform what might otherwise be static architectural or environmental studies into observations of human experience.
This is particularly important in relation to Cartier-Bresson’s concept of the “decisive moment.” In both photographs, the timing of the exposure appears fundamental to their effectiveness. In Behind the Gare Saint-Lazare, the photograph depends upon the precise instant at which the man is suspended above the water. A fraction of a second earlier or later would have produced an entirely different composition and potentially diminished the visual tension of the image. Similarly, in The Var Department, Hyères, the cyclist’s position within the complex geometric structure of the scene creates a moment that could not easily be replicated. Cartier-Bresson’s skill lies not simply in photographing a subject, but in recognising the precise moment when the relationships between subject, environment, movement, and composition become most compelling.
Human interest is therefore central to both photographs. The man attempting to leap across the water and the cyclist travelling through the French landscape represent different aspects of human endeavour. Both figures are engaged in movement towards somewhere else, whether that destination is a workplace, an appointment, or simply another stage of their journey. In this sense, Cartier-Bresson transforms ordinary moments into observations about the human condition.
The two photographs also present contrasting aspects of everyday life. The Var Department, Hyères possesses a quieter and more rural atmosphere, with its stone buildings and relatively empty streets creating an impression of stillness. By contrast, Behind the Gare Saint-Lazare presents Paris as an industrious and active urban environment populated by workers and characterised by construction and urban infrastructure. Despite these differences, both photographs share an underlying interest in ordinary people and their relationship with the spaces they inhabit.
In conclusion, these two photographs demonstrate Cartier-Bresson’s remarkable ability to capture an exact moment while simultaneously communicating movement, atmosphere, geometry, and human experience. His use of monochrome tones, reflections, spatial relationships, and carefully timed exposure transforms seemingly ordinary situations into compelling photographic compositions. The more closely I examine these photographs, the more possibilities for interpretation emerge. Their significance lies not only in their technical mastery, but also in their ability to provoke thought, emotion, and admiration. Cartier-Bresson succeeds in transforming fleeting moments of everyday life into images that remain visually and emotionally powerful decades after they were captured.
