An admiration of ‘Children’ by Vicki Feaver

Posted on January 15, 2022 Updated on August 28, 2026

(819 words)

In this essay, I will explore how effectively Vicki Feaver, a female poet, conveys the influence of not only a mother but potentially all mothers. The poem presents the relationship between a loving parent and her child, exploring a mother’s desire to provide her child with an upbringing filled with love, care and ambition.

The first two tercets convey the image of a woman who, whether through careless accident or careful planning, believes that her child has been brought into this world to be loved. Feaver uses the pronoun ‘we’ to encompass mothers collectively, while also making the experience feel personal and intimate. The mother is present ‘where they began’, suggesting that the bond between mother and child begins from the moment of birth. The description of the children as ‘red mewling strangers’ acknowledges the unfamiliarity of a newborn while also conveying the child’s vulnerable appearance and persistent crying. Feaver develops this idea further with the phrase ‘they tear our threshold’, suggesting that the arrival of a child dramatically changes the mother’s life. The verb ‘tear’ conveys the magnitude and intensity of the disruption caused by a newborn. However, Feaver balances this sense of disruption with the tenderness of ‘immediately we love them’. The adverb ‘immediately’ emphasises how quickly and instinctively a mother’s love develops, presenting motherhood as a powerful and unconditional emotion.

The next three tercets explore the mother’s love as the child begins to grow. Feaver refers to other people commenting on the newborn, which conveys the genuine pride a mother may feel: ‘we smile and blush’. The verbs ‘smile’ and ‘blush’ suggest happiness, affection and perhaps even embarrassment at the attention given to the child. However, motherhood is not presented as entirely joyful, as the mother must also respond to the baby’s ‘cries’. Despite this, the child’s pain becomes the mother’s pain, demonstrating the depth of parental sympathy and compassion. The child’s emotions appear to become the mother’s emotions, suggesting that the mother becomes almost entirely responsive to the needs of her child. This is also demonstrated through the phrase ‘and hold them tightly’, which conveys both physical affection and emotional protection. The mother’s attachment becomes so strong that she experiences the child as ‘a lost part of ourselves’. This could suggest that having a child allows the mother to rediscover a powerful and innocent form of love that she may have lost during her own life. The phrase also implies that the child becomes an important part of the mother’s identity, reinforcing the strength of their emotional connection.

In the final five tercets, Feaver reflects on the mother’s influence while also encouraging her to consider her own life. The arrival of a new life creates the possibility that the child may achieve more than the mother herself. This is evident in the mother’s desire to give her child ‘all the things we never had’. The phrase suggests that the mother is conscious of the disappointments and limitations in her own life and wants to prevent her child from experiencing the same difficulties. She recognises the potential pitfalls of life and attempts to protect her child from them, shown through the image of walking ‘in front of them with warning flags’. The metaphor of ‘warning flags’ suggests that the mother wants to identify dangers before the child encounters them, demonstrating her protective nature.

Feaver also explores the mother’s regrets through the statement ‘we who have failed to be authors of our lives write theirs’. The metaphor of being ‘authors’ suggests that people should have control over the direction of their own lives. However, the mothers feel that they have ‘failed’ to achieve this, so they attempt to shape and influence their children’s lives instead. This reveals both the love and potential limitations of parental influence. In wanting ‘to make heroes of them’, mothers are not content simply to protect their children; they also want them to achieve greatness and fulfil the ambitions that they themselves may not have achieved. The final image of mothers who ‘wait and watch like gardeners for flowers’ presents motherhood as patient and nurturing. The metaphor of ‘gardeners’ suggests that mothers provide care and support while waiting for their children to develop and flourish. Like flowers, the children have the potential to grow into something beautiful and admired.

Overall, Feaver’s poem portrays many powerful ideas about a mother’s influence over her child. From the moment of birth, a mother’s love affects the way she views herself, her child and the future. The poem suggests that mothers influence their children in subtle but meaningful ways, wanting to protect them from their own mistakes while also encouraging them to achieve their ambitions. Ultimately, Feaver presents motherhood as a relationship characterised by unconditional love, protection, sacrifice and hope. The mother’s desire for her child to have the best possible life demonstrates the enduring love and affection that can exist between a mother and her child.